Chronicles of the Middle Kingdom [Part - III]

[In continuation of Chronicles of the Middle Kingdom [Part - II]]

A vacation within a vacation, is reason to rejoice twice, right? Especially when you unexpectedly find yourself in the midst of dramatic scenery (unexpectedly, because you expect it to be comparable a tourist city in India, and it completely exceeds all your expectations.)

So, yes, Hangzhou was divine. Marco Polo was here; and he called it the "City of Heaven". How could I have not known of its existence till just about a week back?! And yet, here I was, owing to certain unexpected turn of events, which made me join the girls on this trip at the last moment. Sweet serendipity.

Being in Hangzhou was like little packages of pleasant surprises being delivered to you, one at a time. Every next thing - a delightful discovery; every stage - a turn up for the book. Historically, the city has been one of the most important trade zones on the Yangtse river delta. It lies cradled among hills and the majestic West Lake, which was recently made a UNESCO World Heritage Site. UNESCO describes it as having "influenced garden design in the rest of China as well as Japan and Korea over the centuries," and reflecting "an idealized fusion between humans and nature." Now, now, you just have to be there to understand what that meant. And I'm already feeling all "holier-than-thou" about it, since I was there, and you weren't! Seriously though, it wasn't just the sight-seeing at Hangzhou that makes it so special to my heart. A person's kinship to a place is usually a function of his/her experiences therein and the people who keep you company. I definitely had the best company possible. And so far as memorable, delightful experiences are concerned, Hangzhou was, in Naj's words - "like the little cherry, on top of the regular cherry, on top of the sundae of awesomeness!". Cheesy, innit? Oh, but it was!

We arrived at the Ming Town International Hostel at around 5 p.m., from the airport. It is located in the city centre and yet next to the Lake itself, but then again, in Hangzhou, nothing ever is too far from the Lake. I like backpacking-hostels. I wish we had more of these in India. The rates are lesser than half the price of hotels. You get to share your dorms with other people and therefore there's a much higher chance of making new friends. Our room, which had two bunk beds and could accommodate four people in all, was clean and had a view of a cafeteria below. We shared it with another Chinese girl from Beijing. What I found most exciting though, was that the wooden roof had a little sunscreen, which could be uncovered for some direct sunlight or a sight of the stars above, at night. Needless to say, we hardly spent any nights in the hostel, so that never came much to our use. But imagine living in a little wooden cabin, where you sleep on the top bunk of a bed, and you can touch the sloping wooden roof and uncover a little piece of the sky all to yourself while you slip lucidly into dreamworld!

We did not slip into the dreamworld though. Instead, we slipped straight into our Explorer-Mode. There was an equitable, skill-based, division of labour. Carole, with her superior Chinese-speaking skills and her even more superior map-reading skills, was designated the "Destination-cum-Tour Guide". Naj with her superior photo-clicking skills and her even more superior skill of bargaining with the Chinese, in Chinese, got to be the "Photographer-cum-Shopping Guide". And yours truly, with her superior posing skills and even more superior parasitic skills of getting by with a little help from her friends, became the "Poser-cum-Tourist". (Although, I must tell you that my "party-starting" skills came in quite handy during the trip.)

We got out on the streets in the dusk. Carole, her head buried in the guide book, would point to a direction, and say "go" and we went. Naj, after every few meters, would say "pose" and we posed. And I, well, I just went and I posed. Then, God decided to make things a little more interesting, and a Chinese man on a moped, crashed straight into Naju while she was crossing a main road. The man's moped toppled, he fell off on the street, quickly straightened his hat, grabbed his bike and left in a jiffy, seemingly embarrassed, but without saying sorry. While my lady stood there, not having dodged even a millimeter from the spot where the moped had crashed into her, wearing her high heeled boots and with that hugeass camera dangling from her neck, looking somewhat like a superwoman. "How did you manage to do that!?" She shrugged. That - was a scene straight out of a Chinese comedy film - if you know what I mean.

Hefang Street, our first tourist destination, is a mela of sorts. Quaint shops sell variegated artifacts from far-off lands and of course, from China. Ethereal Chinese calligraphy on delicate parchments; motley opera masks; African Djembe; Bohemian dirndls and paintings of Indian deities - Hangzhou definitely lived up to its reputation of a major ancient trade centre of China. On Hefang Street, artists, buskers, juggles, milliners, painters, crystal workers, confectioners abound. Here, a man gingerly implanted a ship into a glass bottle while the onlookers held their breath; there, another, crafted a crystal palace straight out of a fairytale. Some displayed the Celestial Guardians of Feng Shui carved in Jade. The Dragon - its gaping mouth breathing out the life-force Chi; the Tortoise - harbinger of long life and health; the Laughing Buddha - epitome of prosperity and happiness; the Jade Family Balls - mystical inveigler of love, preserver of generations. A giant golden Laughing Buddha sits fat in the middle of Hefang street, its belly pregnant with good cheer, ready to be fondled by one and all. In the middle of all this, a little girl sat drawing on her sketch book. And thank God for that - to be surrounded with so much art and yet not to be drawn into inspiration would be a shame.

We munched on some chestnuts, then some peanut and sesame brittles fresh off the oven and then Carole directed us to the food-street, a narrow go-between a little off the Hefang Street, which serves people's taste for the exotic and the bizarre. The problem was that I could not understand what most of the items on display really were, since when asked we were told only their Chinese names, and neither of us could translate them into English. What looked like a curious case of fried worms on a stick, turned out to be merely octopus tentacles. I developed quite a taste for them though. Crabs were the second best of them all, crisp on the outside with subtle seasoning and soft and pulpy within. Dinner later at a recommended restaurant at Hefang Street was pretty uneventful as compared to the food-adventure at the food-street.

After the dinner, we went for a walk to the lake. Cities settled around a lake develop a distinctly peaceful culture - the calmness and placidity of still waters seems to permeate into the daily lives of people. The boulevards around the West Lake are dotted with shady trees, little benches and pedestals. In the stillness of the night the distant Leifeng Pagoda, shone brightly among the hills. I could think of nothing merrier than breaking out into my favourite girl-vacation song: "I have never dreamed it, have you ever dreamed a night like this?"

And just like that, a-night-like-this ended with some drinks at the Night & Day Bar and some live music. And three very happy girls went to bed in a little wooden cabin dreaming of a new day with new adventures.

Early next morning we set out vagabonding once again. The city looked twice as glorious as the night before. But the most impressive revelation of the day was the most common mode of public transport in Hangzhou - Bicycles! In retrospect, I doubt that any other mode of public transport makes any sense in Hangzhou (though the streets are full of Aston Martins, BMWs and Porches). In such a gorgeous city, one ought to go slow, feel the soft breeze on one's face and look about in fascination. Bicycles are ubiquitous in Hangzhou. You can get a punch card from any of the many booths by paying 100 Kuai (but that's only a deposit which is returned to you once you replace the bike at the end of the day). To pick a bicycle, you have to tap the card unto the stand and that unlocks your ride. You may replace it at any other stand in the city. So long as you keep replacing your bike in different stands every one hour, your ride is free. Even if you pay though, the charges are minimal, about 2-3 Kuai per hour, and the first hour is free.

Naj struggled with balancing her cycle a little bit, but when we guffawed at her amateurish biking, she threatened us with showing off her prowess at swimming next time we vacation at a beach. That shut me up atleast. And off we went, all over the town - on bikes, by foot, by boat and once by a mini bus. We took a ferry to the Lesser Yingzhou Isle (Three Pools Mirroring the Moon), which is the largest island within the West Lake, but has three pools inside, making it look like an island, within an island, within an island. We trailed the route to the place where the legendary white snake met her lover, and there each of us took turns to strike the pose of a snake, much to the chagrin of the entirely prudish Chinese people who probably thought we were kooks. We went to the Red Carp Pond where schools of carp swam underneath the transparent pool adding shades of orange to the waters. We ate bruchetta and cheese cake at a Costa Coffee next to the lake. And we cycled back to the hostel, to catch some sleep before going out to get a taste of the night-life of the city - exhausted, yet utterly delighted.

We picked up a city tourist magazine from the Hostel's reception and looked up some recommendations for dinner and clubbing. That night we dined at Grandma's Kitchen, whose impeccable reputation and popularity demanded that we wait for a whole hour before our turn to be assigned a table. It definitely lived up to its reputation. The restaurant offers a graphic menu where one can decide upon the fare, literally by the face of it. With my tummy feeling rich inside, I only needed some alcohol in my veins and some serious dancing to seal the day.

But here's the thing with Chinese clubs and pubs (and typically so, as I was informed, with the ones in Hangzhou) - Chinese people's idea of having fun, is to sit and drink and look at people. While the clubs are ostentatiously and dramatically decorated (to an extent that in one club I almost imagined that I'd see Helen jump out and perform her cabaret, old bollywood style), the people themselves are stoic and unwelcoming, except for the club staff to some extent, but then they need to make money. We began at Suzie Wong where we told the manager that we only wanted to dance. But then we looked around and there was only one girl (who seemed to have been paid to do so) dancing on a central stage and people stared at her. We thought we'd try it anyways, since the music was pretty good (and I live in India, like heck I care about people staring!). But then just as we thought the music was really picking up and started swinging to the new single by Black Eyed Peas, the music was stopped. Next arrived two men and three women painted in white from head to toe, displaying some really ridiculous Chinese opera dance moves, in such complete contrast to BEP. How. Very. Lame. And out of place. We hung out for a little while longer, primarily because we were caught by surprise, and this time WE stared (and I remember screwing up my lips in distaste a little bit), but then we decided to just move on.

The next club was better, since we got stools by the bar and thought we might as well drink some before moving on someplace else. The music was again pretty good, but the DJ was hopelessly expressionless, and that just killed it for me. That, was until the point he played THIS.

"Oh my God, are you serious? How can someone play this song, while being so expressionless! I doubt any of these people understand what's being said in this song."

Well, atleast that song got us out of our stools, got us dancing and pushed the mood. Carole looked further for any better recommendations in the city magazine, and we followed it to another club area. Once out of the cab, we heard some Lady Gaga, and followed the music up to a new discovery. A club full of Indians! In the entire day in Hangzhou, I hadn't seen even one Indian. The Indian manager of this new club was a medical student in China, who was trying hard to sell the place as an expat hangout. Much bonding happened as he informed me that he was from Saddi Dilli. I looked at his T-shirt which read "King of the Fuckin' University" and declared "Of course you are a Delhi-Boi!". He gave us a very good deal on the drinks, and though the club was emptier than the first two - it seemed more fun. Other Indian men came up and spoke to me in Hindi, and it sounded like music to my ears in this strange land. This is where I got to be the party starter. I got on stage, on table tops and God knows where else. As the legend goes, dear Reader, I carried "party" in my pockets like pixie dust and sprinkled it around. But since that was our last day, infact our last few hours in Hangzhou, we had to call it a night just when the Indian men were extending to us invites to other party scenes around town.

The Sisterhood of Fidgety Feet left Hangzhou at 6 a.m. in the morning, on a flight back to Beijing. But I retained a part of Hangzhou with me forever.

[To be Contd...]

Chronicles of the Middle Kingdom [Part - I]

"Are you going to Canada too?" asked the girl who stood behind me in the relatively short check-in queue of Southern China Airlines at Terminal 3, Indira Gandhi International Airport, New Delhi. "No. To China." I said. We were both taking the same flight to Shanghai. "Oh, I thought you were on transit to elsewhere." Indians don't usually prefer to vacation in China, and Chinese return the sentiment. I asked her for a pen to fill up the immigration form. I learnt meanwhile that most of my fellow travelers were on their way to Vancouver, via Shanghai. There was only one Chinese man in line. He looked lost.

At the immigration check, my face was briefly scanned. The officer stamped my passport, then smiled and gestured at me to carry on. Others weren't quite so lucky. At the next kiosk, a man was under skeptical scrutiny of another ignorant officer.
"I have never heard of Bangui. Where is it?"
"It is in Central African Republic." said the man, nervously defensive.
"Where is that?"
"Err...in Africa."
"Why are you going there?"
"On work - in the construction industry. Being deputed by the government on a developmental project there."
The officer looked askance at the piece of paper which the man had produced as a work permit; it was sealed and stamped, and had some lines scribbled in French which were unintelligible to him. I wondered if I should intervene and tell him that CAR indeed exists - that it is in Africa and its capital is Bangui. I decided against it and moved on.

T3 attempts to look ambitiously avant garde - the aesthetic effect created by Bharatnatyam padams arranged in a welcome before the Duty Free shops, is however, mitigated by the dismal brown carpets that stretch on either side across the various gates. I wondered what happened to the poor man at the customs. On the flight, I sifted through the pages of "The Finkler Question". Having finished reading about a quarter of the book, I still didn't know what to think of it, so I dozed off instead. I got up to a recorded announcement in English that conveyed that we would land in Shanghai airport in a short while.

At the Shanghai Airport, there was no one to help the Indian(s) who had to take a domestic transit instead of an international one. I toured the massive airport, pointing out to people my printed e-ticket to Beijing and using the most rudimentary english "Flight to Beijing. Go where?". After a few "No speak English" responses, a guard directed me towards the domestic terminal. After another hour of figuring out how-tos and where-froms, skillfully employing animated gesticulations and stunted english, I was on the next flight to Beijing.

I had wanted desperately to go to China for a vacation; but more so, for a friendship. Naju is a friend - a kindred spirit rather - who I have known for 6 years now. Naj and I have been close friends since we were both studying in our respective colleges in Hyderabad. We Skyped and Gtalked often, updating each other about developments in our lives. I stalked her Facebook photos and very publicly envied all the fun she had been having without me. However, the trigger that finally brought both of us together, was that the year 2010 had fucked both of us (like it had done many others) and we decided, that some girl-time fun again, for the sake of good ol' days, had been long overdue. Yet, upon arriving at the Beijing Airport, excitement betrayed me - in a manner that it usually betrays you when you're aware that peregrination has come to an end and the destination has been reached. Besides - my blackberry wouldn't work in China and I had no watch - I had lost the concept of time. It was liberating, but also mildly frustrating, as, in between my slumber, day dreaming and traversing international time lines, I had no clue for how long I had been traveling.

The uncertainity of my China trip - which had continued till the very last moment owing to work commitments, had not allowed the excitement of a vacation to build up. I hadn't been perusing the pages of glistening travel magazines for spectacular photographs of the Land of the Dragon. I hadn't been looking for "10-out-of-ordinary-things-to-do-when-in-Beijing". I hadn't been dreaming about the fun I'll be having. Instead, I had been spending long hours in the office to be able to afford this break. And I had almost cancelled my tickets the week before. The cumulative effect of the process of ultimately reaching Beijing, was that this silly languidness had descended upon me. I made my way to the conveyor belt and waited.

"There you are - my dear Indian Hobbit!" said Naju, tapping on my shoulders and flashing that toothy smile. I should have hugged her. Instead I blinked and stared before I mustered a few words - "How did you get inside the airport beyond customs barriers?" In my defense, that was a valid question. "Did you forget that I am diplomat? My position comes with certain privileges bebe." She winked, while helping me with my luggage. Naj speaks English with a diction which I cannot quite place. It is a confluence of accents she has imbibed from the various places she has lived at - her native islandic Maldivian, mixed with a little bit of Indian or a hint of Sri Lankan, a trace of Singaporean too, maybe, but I'm not quite sure of that; definitely none of Chinese though. When she speaks, her lips curl into an earnest pout at the end of every sentence, which makes the light brown in her eyes sparkle. This endearing manner of articulation, along with her beautiful square face and small islandic features make her inordinately attractive.

Outside the airport, the city lay frozen and densely grey, like Picasso's Guernica. February is cold in China. For me, cold equals gloom. However, I expected to see snow; I have never had the opportunity. "Snow isn't overrated" quipped Naj, while in the cab. "Plus, I told you this is the best time to come to China. It is Chinese New Year time. We get a whole week off! Chinese people don't have religions and so they don't have many other festivals. They wait all year to celebrate the new year. It's so festive, with lanterns and fireworks and what not. It's a big event. The streets of Beijing won't be as crowded as they usually are because most of the working crowd go back to their hometowns. Oh, we have a New Year dinner tonight with friends. Let the fun begin!" Her characteristic enlivening warmth slowly extinguished the hebetude that had engulfed me after the journey.

We resumed talking about the past, the present, the year that had gone by. We talked about the end of her 7 year old relationship. We talked about my forced separation with the Man. We talked like old friends talk - empathizing and hopeful for each other.

By the time we reached her apartment in the Diplomatic Enclave, a thick dusk had engulfed the grayness and the city lights had emerged, blinking and gay. Finally the realization of being in Beijing, and not in Delhi; of being in 2011 and not in 2010, sank in.

Solace for a wanderlusting soul, albeit with an aching heart, lies in the act of motion. For escapists like me, travel physically and palpably manifests the progression of time - an irrefutable evidence of moving on - of leaving something behind, be it the past or the spaces we have occupied or the moments we have lived. So long as we're moving - some call it running away, others call it running towards - we hurt much lesser.

I saw the first firework shooting up the sky from a window of Naju's swanky apartment, rendered warm and cozy by central heating. This eve of the Chinese New Year insinuated a new beginning.

[...to be Contd.]

Notes on Strangers on my Couch.

I offer couch to strangers like you. In exchange, you offer stories. It's a fair deal.

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Magda:

You were the first. Trusting you came easy, I guess it was the same for you. I wonder if it is only the prospect of a free shelter and food that brings two strangers from half way across the globe together. Humanity never ceases to amaze me.

You arrived at midnight; when the June's sweltering Delhi day had been lulled to behave. I was amused that you expected me to be, not what I was: a tiny girl, clad in summer shorts and a vest. "Not very Indian", you probably intended to say, but replaced your words carefully with a more polite euphemism: "Independent".

You stayed 4 days. You ate nothing hot and spicy. You refused to carry a cell phone. You insisted on travelling in atrocious DTC buses to Old Delhi. You befriended a strange man in Jama Masjid and accepted his invitation to visit his family. You got scared out of your wits when there was a power cut in his ghetto like home and thought this was the end of your life as you knew it. You smiled and dismissed your fears when the power came back and his sisters most hospitably served you tea and samosas. You visited the Toilet Museum!! (I did not even know that existed!) You came home to narrate to me with most animated gesticulations, each and every moment of your ordeal, with such perspicacity, that I could feel your excitement percolate through my very heart.

You carried only full sleeved shirts because of your preconceived ideas of the conservative India. We shopped at the Sarojini Nagar Market for some more summer-friendly outfits and for the next one hour I pointed out to you every Indian girl who would walk past in a spaghetti strapped top. We watched a movie together. We talked about men, and it was reassuring to know that the experiences with love are uniform across the globe. You later asked me which one I would choose between a man who is a great father, and husband and a man who is a great lover, both exclusive of each other. To which my most honest response was, "I can take care of the kids myself." And we laughed it off for the next ten minutes.

Before you left, you thanked me for dispelling the stereotypes you harboured about India and for accommodating you. I never thanked you for opening my eyes to the world around me.

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Kang Kang:

Your season was the rains. How I wished I had spent more time with you. As Murphy would have it, you had to endure the worst conditions: the pouring rain not allowing you to explore as much as you'd probably desired to, the plumbing and water condition at home going wrong and my being occupied with work mostly. But I never sensed you regretting your choice of staying with me instead of a hostel/hotel.

You stayed 5 days. We talked over breakfast mostly. You loved the milk shake that I prepared and asked me for its recipe. You took a train to Bangalore, but e-mailed me later to inform me that you got off the train at some quaint old South-Indian town that I forget the name of, to go to an ashram, which you overheard some people talk about on the train.

You are an English teacher in China, and yet you struggled to convince me of the earnestness of your gratitude. "Thank you very much dear, we Chinese people are not very good at expressing ourselves." You did just fine.

It is only much later, after I visited China, that I noticed how different you seemed to be from the rest of your kind; from the majority in China who like structure and avoid risks, who refuse to connect with people who are "different".

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Katie:

When we met, we were both warding off the same demons. You tackled them by embracing a real adventure, and I by embracing escapism. You spent four months travelling all over South East Asia: Laos, Vietnam, Nepal, Thailand and then India.

We talked while we painted our nails a bright shade of blue. We treated ourselves to ice-cream at India Gate at midnight. We rolled our eyes at the inane and bizarre attempts of Indian men at propositioning exotic women. We ate kebabs at Khan Market and you told me about your little vacation romance with a hapless young, rockstar-of-a-lad from Nepal. And I shared with you the curious incident of my life which involved falling in love with a Nepalese man. At the thought of romance, we mused, and at the loss of it, we bonded.

We rub shoulders sometimes on our Facebook walls. We don't interact much, other than "liking" a picture or status of either, once in a while. But when you went back, you left me a message: "My toe is still blue from when we painted our nails together, and so a part of you is still with me here in San Francisco."

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Mirko:

I could have fallen in love with you. I did, a little bit. And I know, you did too, a little bit. You were every bit the arrogant German I'd heard of. Your experience with India had been awful, and I believe you weren't lying when you said that I was the most "fun" part of your Indian trip.

You called me the crazy little Indian girl. You thought it stupendous that I would work for hours at a stretch and could still be dressed up and about to go out at night. We danced all of Saturday night. We got lost driving around in the labyrinths of central Delhi in the wee hours, with no regrets. You tested my Spanish speaking skills and teased me like an old pal.

I convinced you against going to the Taj Mahal with a weird Indian man you met through Couchsurfing. (Somehow all weird men have found their way to Couchsurfing). My bad. But in my defence, he was indeed quite a weirdo. Now I see that I had put up my most judgmental glasses on, while you were around. The strange man showed up at my door at 5 a.m. to pick you up for Agra. You told him you won't go.

Well, as it turned out, you traveled to Agra on your own, in a passenger train, and made it to the main gate just in time for it to be shut down for the day; you were denied the wondrous sight. Karma bites, I know. But hey, bad experiences make for wonderful stories.

An hour before you left, you got us a bottle of red wine. We trespassed my neighbour's terrace, climbed on top of my roof and balanced ourselves on the parapet. We drank wine and giggled incredulously about your little Indian (mis)adventure. We never kissed.

Before you left, you said: "If two people meet once in life, there is a 95% probability that they would meet again." I wondered where you got your statistics from and hoped you got them right. We said goodbye. We catch a fleeting glimpse of each other's life on our virtual walls; our interaction limited to "pokes" that we surreptitiously throw at each other on Facebook.

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You are all a lot more than strangers, a little more than acquaintances, but a little lesser than friends.

Through your experiences, I have vicariously trekked the Annapurna Ranges; been lost in Egyptian desserts; taught English to street kids in a quaint, old Tamilian town; attended the Burning Man.

Through your eyes, I have seen a little more. Through your adventures, I have lived a little more. In your company, I have reveled a little more.

I am the quintessential armchair traveler. Someday, I will take myself out of this armchair, and I hope the 5% chance of not meeting you ever again, does not get the better of me.

Pixie. Because I'm cool like that.

Don't believe anyone when they say that a girl's femininity lies in the length of her hair. It's a bogus claim. Truth being said, I have never felt this feminine in a long, long time. Add to this femininity, a dash of juvenile exuberance, and that's how I'd describe my close crop experience.

When my Pa saw a photo of my new hairdo for the first time, he instantly hated it. "You look like a wet bird!" he exclaimed. "I feel like a wet birdie, Pa!" I told him. I can now do a little head shimmy when I appear out of the shower, just like a wet bird. And I love the way my hair sticks out, making me look all pixie-like. The only maintenance it requires of me, is to wear an occasional wax and to wildly dandle up my hair with my hand. And honestly, the dirtier it gets, the better it looks!

Oh, and I'd forgotten in all these long haired years, how large my eyes really are. Or maybe they just seem larger now, making me look like those wide-eyed anime characters. I now wear kohl often and leave those glasses behind. My mane stands prouder. My naked clavicle begs to be flaunted in strappy dresses, off-shoulders, tube tops and to be adorned in retro tie-up scarves. I even bought little diamond studs to wear in my ears, which is kind of a big deal, because I never used to wear any jewelry at all. But now my ears demanded attention. When I wear those short bangs on my forehead, hold a cigarette, and make small talk, I feel very 'Audrey Hepburn', and want to refer to random people as "Darlings"!

I feel 16 again, or younger (and if you know me, you know I could get away with that easily). I feel like a girl who could get caught sneaking into the club without an ID, but who takes her chances anyway. The girl who the men at the bar give that "does your mother know?" look. I feel like I can get away with finagling for a drink on the house if only I could let my little-girl-eyes grow wide and pout about my drink getting over so soon. Who knows, I could pull off a floozy even, like Natalie Portman!

It all makes sense now that I should wear my hair short, though I wonder why I never tried it before. Long hair is meant for girls who grow up wanting to be Princesses. I was never that girl. I didn't grow up dreaming about a Cinderella story, looking for a Prince Charming. Me? I wanted to be a fairy; a pixie, like Tinker Bell. I would merrily settle for the role of the green, jealous side kick to the boy who never grew up. I wouldn't, I couldn't settle for being a damsel in distress, no Sir! No moping around in the dark corner of a tower, waiting for Knight in Shining Armour for me. Even as a little girl I thought I was better than that. My life was meant to be an adventure; it was meant for mischief and magic, for rafting down the Mississippi, for tackling Capt'n Hook, for surviving an island filled with cannibals. These are the stories I grew up reading and loving. Not fairy tales, mehh. Rapunzel is such a passé.

Of late I have been feeling that wide eyed little girl take over my personality again. She's mocking my 25 long years, willing me to get silly and naughty.

If you'd like to hear it from Mary Garden of 1920s, as she explained in her Article titled "Why I Bobbed my Hair":

"Bobbed hair is a state of mind and not merely a new manner of dressing my head.… I consider getting rid of our long hair one of the many little shackles that women have cast aside in their passage to freedom."

I do believe that this "freedom" is largely mistaken for imitated masculinity. When a woman cuts her hair, she doesn't necessarily sacrifice her femininity. Quite the opposite actually, it could metaphorically be described as a celebration of the innate femininity of a woman, which has nothing to do with her outer appearance; a femininity which is free spirited.

Coco Chanel once said "A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life". There's got to be some truth in that. You reckon?

Notes on not belonging to a City: Delhi & I.

"There are really patterns. It was a revelation, of a kind. Dreams and sand and stories. Deserts and cities and time."

- Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Fables & Reflections #39: Soft Places, (1993)

After two years, Delhi still remains what it always has been, a dispassionate lover who is the best kept secret, but never a friend.

It’s not for the first time that I feel intrigued by my impersonal, bittersweet affair with Delhi. I have oftentimes imagined myself as its Mistress, treated with a cursory nod of acknowledgement in society, and with utmost benevolence in private, but never with acceptance.

It would be ungracious of me to not acknowledge its kindness; often I feel it eying me as a step child - making up for its lack of affection by showering upon me abundance in kind. I owe it the exceptional opportunities it has provided, a thriving career. In Delhi I graduated from being a Missy to becoming a Madam. But ask me (or ask it) if we ever became allies and we’d both nod our heads with a dismissive smile and proclaim “we’re just old acquaintances”.

Not to say that personal histories have not been created and buried in its folds: chance encounters, opportune romances, circumstantial friendships and unpredictable trysts with love. Like the boy who liked flying planes so much, that I failed in keeping him grounded to myself. And another, who excelled in bizarre boyish skills: fire poi and skateboarding; who made for excellent conversations over Sunday brunches and etched himself in my memory forever as the Sweet Blue Eyed Boy. The girl at my dance club who asked me to go dancing with her; who was the queen of Delhi's debaucherous nights, and yet who then settled to marry a man chosen by her parents with little resistance. That beautiful dancer whose amorous embrace consumed me in a dervish swirl every time he took my hands and led me to the floor, but whom I left waiting, without remorse. And the Man who taught me how to use chop sticks on the first date and made me fall in love with him, so hard, in spite of my intelligence, my clairvoyance and my awareness of its limitations, that it felt almost criminal. What is it that they say about a lot of water having gone under the bridge?

I never belonged to Delhi like I belonged to Hyderabad. Good ol’ Hyd - how I longed to run into its arms at the end of every week, riding red district buses meandering through desolate highways, to escape my far off college campus and to set foot in the streets of Hyd, where I was free. We were kindred, Hyd and I, each looking to belong, each trying to shed the old ways of towns and adopting the new ones of a city. Unlike Delhi, in Hyd my friendships were never listless, my loyalties never trivial and my love never conditional upon loss.

I never belonged to Delhi, like I belonged to Bombay; throwing myself at its mercy, which is the only way it allowed its patronage. Hopping on and off Mumbai’s gritty locals, I felt comfortable in my skin. In its salty rains I felt submerged in reality. Its rocky sea shore reflected the conflict within. Mumbai demands your resilience, but also delivers itself completely to you. Unlike Delhi, Mumbai is a life coach, not a sugar daddy; it pats your back and hands you a spade, it never pats your head and hands you a candy.

I never belonged to Delhi, like I belonged to Singapore. Walking down Orchard lane, on the Christmas eve, hand in hand with my 9 year old huckleberry friend - I felt appropriately festive. Drinking wine right out of the bottle at Clark Quay with my namesake, who I serendipitously happened upon at New Years’ Eve - I never bargained for a lasting friendship. Dancing with the beautiful Indian boy up close and personal to the tune of “Stand by Me” played by a local band - I knew the night to be a shifting moment, never expecting it to last forever. In Singapore's utopia, I was not once disappointed. Unlike Delhi, Singapore delivered what it promised, and exactly what I expected of it: to revel in its ephemeral glory.

For long, Delhi liked to see me in captivity, be it in His arms or a cubicle; it never set me free. A fleeting sense of belonging to Delhi once came upon me, as a packaged deal with belonging to Him. I bought a car and there was a time when I wanted to buy a house. I had assured Him and myself that I would make a home for us here. I may have been disillusioned that it never came to be, but I am, all the same, relieved. Belonging to a city in which you are not free may come easier, but it is impossible to love a city in which you are not free.

I plan my escape every day. Will it be this year or the next? How much should I save? Should I learn Tango at Buenos Aires or try Ayahuasca in Peru? Maybe I should start taking Spanish lessons already? Maybe I should learn to swim better so as not to be embarrassed in Fiji's blue lagoons? Will I ever be able to save enough for a Round the World Ticket? But then again maybe I could take the Trans-Siberian all the way from Beijing to Moscow, with whatever I am able to save? My mind, dear friends, designs its own adventures.

Maybe it is me, and not Delhi. Me and my peripatetic ways, my impulsive escapism. Maybe I have spent enough time in Delhi to thwart its attempts at camaraderie. Delhi remains, a soft place, a place in transit, a sojourn: a place where you don't buy new furniture and don't plant bonsais in your terrace. A place where some nights you enjoy engaging company and at others you light a cigar and listen to jazz till midnight. My friends are not Dilli-Wallas or Dilli-Wallis, they are exiles, expats, small town boys and girls starting out here from scratch, people trying to make a living, just like me, or people surfing one couch at a time, awaiting a revelation through their encounters, travellers, tourists even. There is distant family liberally scattered in and around Delhi, which I choose not to socialize with much. When I hear of someone claiming to belong to Delhi, I do not relate, but I understand. Delhi, history's burden bearer, the City of Djinns, that has embraced so many, from the Pandavas to the Mughals to the partition refugees, never became mine.

Maybe when I leave, I'll look back upon Delhi with the fondness of a lost lover, and finally belong to it, like one belongs to the nostalgia of days bygone.